Sunday 30 January 2011

[Restaurants] Incredibly Short Takes; Other Restaurants of Mention/Bored Blog Post

Essentially just posting this for further reference/I am incredibly bored just to note some of the other restaurants I recall having been to in the London area, along with a one-word highlight from what I can remember:

  • Melur [Edgware Road] - Malaysian; Meh
  • Essentially all the Maroush Franchises [Edgware Road] - Lebanese; Mediocre
  • Shishawi [Edgware Road] - Lebanese; Indifferent
  • Levant [Off Oxford Street] - Lebanese; Middling - mind you, I ate here around 9 years ago or so, the only thing I remember was that the Caramelised Onion served with the Halloumi was wubs.
  • Some Persian Restaurant [Maybe "Palm Palace"] [Edgware Road] - Persian; Unremarkable
  • Chiquito's [Leicester Square] - "Mexican"; Standardised/Chain-food/Bland/As Mexican as TGI Friday's
  • Green Dragon? Something like that [China Town, Soho] - Chinese; Typical
  • Cafe' Rouge [Off Oxford Street?] - French-ish; Acceptable
  • Sofra [No Idea] - Turkish?; Forgettable
  • The Rail Bar, Selfridges [Oxford Street?] - Deli; Pleasant - My life-reaffirming introduction to the Salt Beef Sandwich
  • Sidi Maaroof [Edgware Road] - Moroccan; Ok
  • Beirut Express [Edgware Road] - Lebanese; Not Ok
  • Cafe' Helen [Edgware Road] - Lebanese?; Insulting
  • Zizzi's [Baker Street & Somewhere else] - Italian; Reasonable
  • Indali Lounge [Baker Street] - Indian/Hippy; Fat/Flavour-free - Admittedly cost-free as well
  • GBK [Baker Street] - Burger; Normal
  • Vingt Quatre [Fulham] - French/Nothinginparticularsserie; Basic
  • Le Relais de Venise "L'Entrecôte" [Marylebone] - French; Spoilt for No Choice o_o - Note, I left severely umped by this place, not realising they had dessert! Maybe we had to go to the Cinema, no idea

As is plenty obvious by the restricted diversity of destination, it is not difficult to preclude the reasoning behind this blog. Or rather, the whining enough to break away from the Torrid Edgware Circle of Doom.
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[Restaurant - Scottish] Pain for Pleasure; Boisdale of Belgravia



Location - Belgravia, London [UK]
What is the sign of a great restaurant? An eclectic and diverse menu? Or a selection of dishes steeped in tradition and authenticity? Is it the service, ambience and pleasant food? Or the fact that you actually go through pain just for the experience? If so, I am happy to be labelled as an S&M afficionado whilst dining at Boisdale. The whips and chains are merely optional in this instance. For dining at Boisdale is a painfully pleasant experience - both economically, as well as occasionally physically through over-indulgence.


In what has quickly become a bit of a tradition, the visiting of Boisdale is a sparse but thoroughly enjoyed experience - sparse as there is only so much money at my disposition within a year to be able to eat here. Which is where the predominance of the pain comes into the discussion of the experience of Boisdale. Cheap, it certainly is not. I would perhaps say as well, for value, it is not one of the more sensible choice. With regards to experience though, few of the restaurants I have eaten at can beat it though. And for me, my first experience here, in terms of foodgasm, was the best. And yes, I have said "experience" 5 times in the first couple of paragraphs. Repetitititions, commence!


~ Starter ~
- Venison Carpaccio Salad [1st Time]


My first choice was not available, or perhaps the waiter thought I could stand to lose some weight so I was served the above instead. Wow. Raw slices of venison served on a bed of rocket with some walnuts I believe. Meat makes rabbit-food fun! Quite an enjoyable "salad", I remember something about the taste from the venison as well, but I'd be lying if I pretended now to remember what. It was lovely regardless.

- Rabbit Roulade [December 2010]


As will be mentioned in a future post - yes, I can tell the future - I was not terribly impressed with the roulade/terrine, though this would probably have more to do with my expectations of what this dish entails, rather than outright execution. I just seem to expect more in taste from a minced mix of game and bacon and hams and other omnomnommy foods, but all I get back is. Well. Minced meat. Like a cold cured ham. It was nice, but nothing more really. The livers were disgusting but that's because I do not understand the pleasure of eating organs. Haggis is ok, as its mixed up with enough other organs, but, yeah. I am not of the organs.

- Rosary Goat's Cheese, Pear & Something Salad [28/01/2011]









Pining forever for that Venison Carpaccio salad that I had on my visit to Boisdale, I thought this dish would have to suffice, as it combined some sort of animal name with the word "salad". After all, isn't any salad better when some sort of meat or fat is added to it?! No? Just me then? Heathens. Overall it was pleasant, not a complex salad by any means - I was a bit miffed with the paucity of goat's cheese sprinkled around, though I suppose it's not called "Goat's cheese with a sprinkling of salad" for a reason. As that'd perhaps be less healthy. Pfft, Health & Safety party crashers. I particularly liked the sweetness brought in by the pear and pickled walnut, that served to combine well with the bitter leaves, though the dressing was a bit too sharp for my liking.

A nice salad in the end, just, maybe, too healthy for me. I want decadence. EVERYWHERE.


~ Main Course ~
- Grilled Mutton Fillet [1st Time]


What stood about about this dish so much that I can remember it vividly - yes, there is such a dearth of thought processed in my mind that I can remember specifically what something tasted like 2-3 years ago - to this day? Was it the fact the mutton portion, though desperately tiny, melted in the mouth like it was actually mutton flavoured butter [mmmmm]? No. Was it the glazed carrots, which makes everything right with the world as carrots of any shape and form are divine anyway? No. It was the mashed potato. Yes. Mashed Potato. That I can remember years on. Despite literally being a spit of a portion [I'm trademarking that measure], it was so amazingly creamy and amazing and z0mg and that is all.

The rest of that dish has obviously been described, but, it was frankly amazing, if not enough to fill my voracious appetite.

- Fillet Steak with Black Truffle Shavings [January 2010]


Not much really stood out from this dish - I think I chose it primarily for the carrots. I would do anything for glazed carrots. A-N-Y Thing ;). Otherwise nothing really stands out; there was a lot of truffle which maybe overpowered the steak slightly, and the cost. That's as far as I can remember. Blast the internet for destroying my ability to think.

- Lamb & Wild Mushroom Shepherd's Pie [I think] [December 2010]


Yah, rly. Shepherd's Pie. Mind you, it was served in a bucket. I would have to obviously moderate and not complain of portion size. It was otherwise as comforting as it sounds, and as normal as it sounds - nicely executed, but in the end nothing overly complicated to entice or spice up.

- Braised Oxtail with Parsnip Puree [28/01/2011]










Opting for something different to the usual round of slab of meat, or minced slab of meat, I decided to try a strange cut of meat this time. Rigorously meat either way! Keeps my friends list Hippy-free, and me, Happy ^-^

Whilst a simple dish and not offering any real surprises, there was a particular highlight. The Copper serving pot was. Awesome. Oh, the food was ok. *Sigh*

Again, impartial opining abound, the Parsnip Puree' was worth of particular mention - it was delightfully light, not overly sweet and had a nice, slightly grainy texture. I really could not have had enough of the puree' - it tasted simple, with very little added. It combined well with the sauce, but it is of little importance, as I would have consumed a full trough of it. The oxtail was not bad either, considering, well. It's tail. What I initially over-excitedly perceived to be a smoked taste to the meat, was quickly quashed when I realised it was a lardon. On ignoring this fact however I just relegated it to smoked-meat taste and enjoyed away. I stopped myself from consuming the full portion, as I knew that I would not compromise my dessert. And I didn't want to ask for a doggy bag. It would feel wrong.

Another nice dish, though perhaps with little stand out features, other than that parsnip. Nom.

~ Dessert ~
- Pear and Something [maybe Blackberry?] Crumble [1st Time]


Best Dessert I had EVER had at Boisdale. Crumble is crumble, I made it Home Economics class in school when I was a couple of months old. However, this crumble was divine - good amount of oatey crumble, and an extremely fragrant something and something filling. I remember it was different. And fragrant. And fruity. And quite a dashing. Maybe a bit precarious. You still believing this? ^_^. The requisite addition of the cream only added to this, instead of dousing and covering the combination of flavours. Despite the heat of the dish setting my face aflame - that was quickly doused out with a handy fire extinguisher - one of my favourite desserts, evar.

- Rhubarb Something, maybe a crumble [January 2010]


This. Was a disappointment. For me, a dessert has lately become the course I look forward to the most. It is the least healthy, and therefore the best. And, from what I can remember it was a tower of extremely hard pastry and quite sour rhubarb with some cream here and there. I had never at this point had rhubarb, so if that is what can be expected, I am not a fan. The hard pastry made it particularly difficult to eat without looking like a 5 year old trying to eat with their face. Unimpressed, especially so as I think the dessert I had wanted was unavailable. Bah to joo.

- Some Crumble again [December 2010]


Yes, I am a crumblephile. I even tried ordering an Atholl Brose cocktail which is basically a crumble in liquid form, just without the fruit. But they had run out of something. Anyway, not one of their best efforts, but still reasonable - not enough oats, which were also a bit dry, and the fruit filling was nice but nothing exceptional. Not like the first one I had....

....

Ok, enough drooling. So yeah, an ok Crumble.

- Chilled Bread & Butter Brulee with Clotted Cream [28/01/2011]









This dessert was essentially forced onto me against my will, kicking and screaming, if only within my head. It is a lonely place in there. For just before the turn of the year, the dessert menu was all kinds of epic, with a Whiskey & Honey Parfait and a Lemon & Olive oil cake and foodcoma.

Then I woke up on January 1st and it was replaced with Tea Brulee's and Bread & Butter Pudding. And Crumble. o_o

BAH!!

Crumble it is. Damnit. No, SOMETHING NEW. But, Bread & Butter? Seriously? How is Hovis going to tempt me with a dessert? Nevermind. I am obviously of a very open mind. So for the sake of not being labelled a Crumbleist, the Bread & Butter Brulee' seemed the most tempting. And when receiving it, well, err. How is it a brulee'? Such things only trouble me momentarily before I bury my face much to the horrified gasps of those around. How can it be summed up. Well, it wasn't a brulee' from what I know them to be in my limited experience. And on its own, it was enjoyable, if rather unexciting - a lightly sweet cream on a slightly tough puff-pastry base. However, matters greatly improved with a) the clotted cream, and b) the toasted almonds.

The almonds essentially made this dessert, adding a nice crunch, and more importantly, a lovely toasted earthiness to the dessert. Without the almonds it may have been a bit forgettable. And as desserts are more important bar nothing to me, it would have shattered my perception of reality as I knew it if that's what I had had. The almonds saved the day though.

- Whiskey & Prune Cake with Home-made Custard [30/06/2011]




Following on from the event that has irrevocably changed my life - the introduction of Sake' to my being - it was quickly decided that the couple of milligrams of food that were served therein were unsubstantial and would need some further bolstering. Boisdale it is! It's close proximity was a welcome factor in the decision, as well as the premise of the Cigar Terrace. Unfortunately, that was not enjoy too much as the scarcity of food/copiousness of sake' within my stomach had conspired with the Smatt's Rum & Cigar to m ake me feel rather precariously vile, so a dessert was required post haste.

Yet in another move to expand my gastronomic horizons, within the confines of the Boisdale menu, I decided to go for the least appealing dessert to me, which is to say, one I would not typically go for. It would make sense why. Whilst a generous helping, nothing really stood out from the cake - no particular note of whisky or prune, or anything for that matter. It was just a nice sponge cake with a nice custard base. The almonds didn't punctuate through the dish like the previous dessert had done, and whilst the custard was pleasant, there was not enough to drown in. Which would have been nicer. The dessert wine was truly decadent though - it gave me diabetes, but it was a wonderfully refined sweetness, the drink itself being particularly thick, as it was obviously an elixir rather than a wine. Combined well with the dessert.

Overall, perhaps a disappointing dessert, but it achieved what I sought it to do. Next time I may just pine for what I truly covet. Unless it's a crumble. Or I'll just have two desserts.


~ Drinks ~
- Mojito [1st Time]


Not a spectacular Mojito by any means, rather rudimentary, but it wasn't bothersome. Meh.


- Illusion Cocktail [28/01/2011]












Well there's the problem - they served me a pre-drunk cocktail. Oh wait, that's the illusion, makes sense!

Ok, I was too slow on the camera trigger and only pictured the cocktail after its consumption. I know, it is a hard thing to do, living without that picture. It was pretty when served though with a green and yellow separate layer near the bottom of the drink. I was denied my Atholl Brose, YET AGAIN due to a lack of oats - in a Scottish restaurant. Obviously oats are a breed of grain unobtainable from anywhere else ever. Hmph. Anyway, this cocktail would have to do - basically sounded like a Piña Colada with a hint of Melon. And so it turned out.

That is it really - a light Piña Colada with a slight hint of melon afforded by the Midori. It was lovely though. But I'm going to pout something fierce if my Atholl Brose is denied to me a third time.

~~~~

So overall, Boisdale is a restaurant that to me, and I think my fellow compatriots of pain, draws mainly through the experience rather than the outright face-melting quality of the food. Face-melting that is certainly provided by the expenditure, which seems to be climbing in an upward spiral of uncontrollable z0mgness. I must concur with one critic on one of the review sites that commented on the authenticity of the "Scottishness" of this restaurant, listing off a flurry of unpronouncables - it just seems to be primarily standard fare British food, with some whiskey and salmon thrown in here and there. That's what I wish I could try, it would just add so much more. To my waist. And thighs. And I don't care, just as long as it's different.


The visit in December 2010 was particularly memorable - in a move to rival the French & Italian gluttony [in a good way! And I am Half-Italian, I am allowed to self-deprecate], our dining experience lasted around 5 hours from recollection; this involved the main dinner, moving onto the Cigar terrace to attempt to smoke some frozen solid cigars. And then we returned downstairs for dessert. A fork lift would have made a more ideal means of transport back home. Oh, and a personal accountant for the final tally.

28th January 2011 - Yet another pleasant visit, and quite a long one again, though not to the extent of the previous 5 hours. Only 3 hours this time around. Again, the service, primarily on the Cigar terrace were excellent, apart from a minor Faux Pas that had a Waiter tell Huzaifah that the Venison Pie had no Pork in it. Only to be packed with lardons. I hear her head will be presented to him on a stake next time. Otherwise, it was a standard fare Boisedale trip - no great excitement in the menu, just good quality food, terrible "Lalalala, I can't see the bill Lalalalal" Pricing, and a pleasant overall experience.

Good thing it's only a bi-annual affair or so, otherwise I would maybe have to find other measures of pain for the money O_o


Boisdale on Urbanspoon
[Yarrr, I be selling out]

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Saturday 29 January 2011

[Restaurant - Chinese] Gimme [Dim]Sum Mo'; Yauatcha of Soho

Location - Soho, London [UK]
Disclaimer for my hypocrisy - I am generally the type to lambaste stereotypes and their short-minded authors, as, you know, I write a blog, therefore my opinion matters, if only to me. However, I would be a filthy, dirty whore/liar if I had said I was not somewhat unimpressed with the notion of a Dim-sum -based Lunch. How can you have a meal based on Starters!? Mind you, I was not in the freshness of mind to care, and there was still enough residual alcohol in me to power a small power station. So, doubts not so much cast aside, rather walking hand in hand with me into the restaurant. I'll say it now. I am standing. And I have been very much corrected.


~ Main Course ~
- Vietnamese Wrap [Steamed]











Bah, Dumplings. Who's going to make a meal out of dumplings. Ok, I already made my pre-conceived notion clear in the introduction, no need for it again. I did not have any particular strategy for the choice of dumplings, other than to choose a set of 3 largely different ones just to get a variety, so to start, the Vietnamese wrap ones. With fungus. Different? Tick!

And these were quite nice - rather than just tasting of minced meat like most standardised Dimsums, there were some interesting flavours coming through. I cannot quite recall them, as a mouth tasting largely of ass and cigars from the previous night saw to that, but a very nice and fragrant Dimsum. Not my favourite, but quite nice. Nicely perked up with some Chilli oil too. The fungus on the side disappointed me for not tasting as disgusting as it sounds. It was rather nice. :(


- Three Style Mushroom Cheung Fung









Whilst being the last of the 3 dishes to arrive, this is the one that quite literally pumelled my face for my previous insulting of a Dimsum's eligibility as a meal. It was basically a slab of Dimsumness, sliced up into slightly more manageable striations. Whilst not a fan of the soy sauce, as, well, mushroom tends to soak up such saltiness readily, I was pleasantly surprised with the mushroom filling. Whilst there's only so much excitement that can be reserved for. Well. Mushroom stuffed dumplings, what was surprising was the actual flavour of mushroom permeating through.

I do seem to be harbouring some sort of passive aggressiveness for dumplings. I cannot help it! These were a struggle to finish though through their sheer volume, not particularly interesting, but very moorish.


- Duck & Pumpkin Puff










I. Heart. These. Not only were they too cute to eat [*Still looking for my Manhood*], but they tasted cute as well. Wait. That makes no sense. They looked and taste wins. Whilst fried food is perhaps the least of things you want when your head feels likes it been through too many wall/skull interactions, the "puff" was quite light, and nicely crunchy. The filling though, was. Z0mg. Delectable. Smokey duck combined with some sweet pumpkin and I don't care what else, it just melded into a lovely mush and I needed more.

~ Dessert ~
- Fig & Chestnut Clafoutis










Whilst a nice dessert, this was probably the main disappointment for perhaps providing more style than outright substance - I need a trough load, like the Cheung Fung - and shattering my expectations. For this clafoutis looked nothing like those pictures of batter-pie wins on Google. And was nowhere as big. I saved space through the Dimsums for this :(.

Considering that I was led to believe a clafoutis was a batter-based pie with fruit, the provided dessert seemed slightly at odds with that notion. Too much fruit, not enough bad stuff. Bah to you. The fig didn't seem ripe enough, tasting a bit sharp in places, the Chestnut mousse didn't really taste of anything, and the base of the Clafoutis just seemed to be a generic pastry. No batter. At all! Why no tempura-fusion batter pie?! Meh. It doesn't mean it was not a pleasant dessert, just that it perhaps didn't compute with my preconceived notions. Though as I make plenty clear, I really have nary a clue.

The almond ice-cream on the side was very light, almost a sorbet in flavour and texture. It worked well with the Clafoutis, if only to give a highlight. I will say this now, unless it contains hair or is truly disgusting, I find it hard to criticise a dessert, so this will remain a still enjoyed dessert, but it was perhaps a bit too subtle in taste, or rather, at odds to the description. At least the fig would help me digest the metric ton of Cheung Fung.

~ Drinks ~
- Lychee Juice










Was I expecting freshly squeezed Lychee' juice? No. Did I get it? No. However, it wasn't terrible - I would think it was probably from a concentrate, but it was at least only moderately sweet, and not the liquid diabetes you get from the likes of Rubicon et al. I cannot believe the sheer numbers of cans I used to consume of that stuff, for I literally have limbs fall off whenever I drink Rubicon now. Srsly!

Ok, not seriously. And losing focus here. It wasn't a bad juice, though I would guess expecting fresh lychee' juice, in the UK, in Winter is perhaps a bit surrealist. But I'm special, and I want special juice :(.

~~~~


So, having been facepwnt by my silly stereotypes and preconceived hate for Dimsums, I can say I'm pleasantly surprised to have been so re-educated. Portions and pricing were surprising for an obviously Trendy-aimed Soho restaurant, well, other than the dessert, which was disproportionate to expectations. Service was good, despite how busy the place was, and the setting was comforting. Despite being packed, and slightly chaotic, and obviously trying hard to aim at a certain image conscious crowd, it was all at once also very serene and a welcoming place.

That the Dimsums surprised on so many levels was merely an additional plus point - yes, they can make a meal. Quite so much so. And Yauatcha has about 3billion varieties, so you will never get bored. Which I aim on trying. And whilst the final bill of around £40 each isn't particularly cheap, compared to the offensive taunting of our taste buds at another Soho eatery, this place has left a pleasing palm shaped stamp on my face. From where I was face palmed. For being so wrong.

Being wrong is quite nice. I look forward to my frequent wrongs ^_^


Yauatcha

[Yup, sold myself again]
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Wednesday 26 January 2011

[Cafe - Ice-Cream Bar] Short Take - Location³; Rendezvous of Leicester Square

Location: Leicester Square, London [UK]

Only a short review on this eatery, as there is only so much that can be written about ice-cream and a coffee. Unless you write about Kheer. I would write until the end of the world about kheer if it would net me another one.

*Sigh*. ENOUGH!

Anyway, I have had ice-creams and coffees at this particular venue a plethora of times, due in no part by its location, which centred over our previously predictable schedules of dining and going to the cinema in Leicester Square. How fortunate of them.

O_o.

In this case, I insisted on coming on here just before, erm. Going to the cinema, in order to re-establish some positive to the evening following what can be described as a traumatising dinner experience which sent me into fits of nothingness. Details in the previous post.

So, an Apple Crumble ice-cream, and an espresso pl0z. And, either I'm getting old in my 24 years or I've scorched my tongue far too many times in the past, decimating legions of taste buds, or perhaps they were saving themselves from further Wagamama-influenced atrociousness, but this ice-cream was quite bland. And not crumbly. Was it even apple!? It was also warm and didn't have the texture of the supposed "Gelato" type of ice-cream. Meh. It was sweet, it did it's job. Espresso was satisfactory.

Just to add, I hate these places that sell "Gelato" Ice-cream - meaning the same thing in Italian, how is Ice-cream Ice-cream different to Ice-cream? Unless it's Ice-cream². Ah, makes sense now! So yeah, a meh cap off to a bah dining experience, that at least helped to cleanse my offended palette.
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[Restaurant - "Japanese"] Shame on Somebody's Mama; Wagamama of Soho

Location - Soho, London [UK]

Rank, Skank and Dank. An application of these words was unfortunately true for most aspects of eating at the aforementioned.

Ok, perhaps a bit harsh, not that the 1 person that reads this blog - me - will complain. I would perhaps replace "Rank" with "Blank" for the food. Unfortunately, in a seemingly reoccurring nightmare/twist of fate [What a twist!], this is the second time where a much enthused rendezvous of face to plate interaction were quickly destroyed by the simple lack of calling ahead. Despite Soho being as elegant as Paris Hilton, though perhaps not as skank, Bocca di Lupo was fully booked. LAME. Though, this was not the first tinge of disappointment to be met with - Yuautcha was also similarly plump with bookings, and the rest were, well, Soho Skank, that and I could not remember of any restaurants to note in the Soho district, as I largely avoided it. For being Skank.

Skanketty skank.

So, as a literal last resort, especially as there were musings of eating [I use the term loosely] at Pizza Express, or the slightly commercialised food served at Chiquito, we had settled for Wagamama as it was quick food. Yay. I probably sound/read a bit pretentious in my deriding of chain restaurants, but Wagamama is so blatently a Student-appealing outlet, and students have no taste. I am no longer a student perse', so I can safely say that, hah!

Anyway, I obviously did not have any expectations. Especially so as we walked through the door. Then below the ground surface...

~ Starter ~
- Miso Soup & Japanese Pickles


I do quip on about my age occasionally, but I have met my match - the pickles were obviously kept on a counter since around the same time I was born. Disgusting - dry, funky tasting, not particularly "pickled" either. The Miso Soup, well, it's just miso, and it was as uneventful as always, no special note here.

- Edamame with Chilli & Garlic


Dead Sea edamame would have been more appropriate as they seem to have been seasoned therein. I was obviously a noob and was eating them whole, wondering why I dislocated my jaw on chewing 349783294723894 times per bean pod, however, that didn't disguise the salt. Nothing could. Not even the US Government. And they hid the fact that the "Moon Landing" occurred in a TV Studio. So much salt. I think I am now a salt lick.

~ Main Course ~
- Yaki Udon


To give some respite to this blatently well enjoyed meal, I will muster up all the positive thinking and hippy zen rubbish ever and say of this meal: Blandness is a Virtue. Ta-dah! Yeah, somehow

" teppan-fried udon noodles in curry oil with chicken,
prawns, chikuwa, egg, beansprouts, leeks, mushrooms
and peppers. garnished with fried shallots, pickled
ginger and sesame seeds"

Translates into "dry, flavourless chicken, with crunchy somethings. That is all". I was hoping at least to have some wheaty, carbohydrate fix with the worm-like noodles, but to no avail. Beyond the occasional sharp acidity of the pickled ginger, there was no actual discernible flavour prominent in this dish. *Sigh*

~ Drinks ~
- Carrot Juice with Ginger


Hat-trick of despair! Nah, to be honest, if they managed to screw up a glass of juice, I would have cried. For their denial of my carrot intake. The juice was bland, the ginger subtle, but it was still freshly made. I feel dirty [not as dirty as the venue], that sounds like a compliment.


~~~~

Overall I LOVED the place!

And tonguing a fire ant's nest. Yeah. Desperate measures, so I cannot really expect much, however, I have never been to a Wagamama's so lacking in perceptive hygiene, with food so bland and obviously old, ever. A Wagamama's so in fitting with its surroundings in essence. A probably biased review, but it is as I experienced it. And I hope that will be an isolated incident.
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Monday 24 January 2011

Kheer me Out

Did I mention how much I wub Kheer? ^_^ Read more!

[Restaurant - Pakistani] Destiny, it was found Kheer; Mirch Massala of Ealing

Location - Southall, London [UK]

To be entirely stereotypical and bluntly ignorant, being of a Half-Mauritian nationality, of which I draw a 1/8th Indian [Sikh to be precise] descent, I have also had a draw to the flavours of the East, and spicy food, as obviously it is a genetic quality to like such food. Blatently. Lots of spice. Always spice. Even for breakfast. Sometimes. Spicety spice. Do not actually know where I'm going with this.

Anyway, Huzaifah and his family are plainly aware of this, as I bored/amused them to tears recently with my obsession for trying out new restaurants, and my apparently "Undesi-" pronounciation of the dishes of note. So, I was delighted to have been invited out to a Pakistani restaurant for the Sunday, hoping to at least be able to tick a few of the foods I've wanted to try for the last few hundred hours of my life. And Huzaifah's oldest sibling would also have been contented with her obsession of Pakistani men, it was basically a win win dinnerial [Trademark] situation.

Much concern was placed on the destination of this restaurant, for fear that I may have been too much of a "cracker" for this place as I apparently would have stuck out for using cutlery. Obviously in a light-hearted manner, though I know he was worried. I just had to remind him that I am an 1/8th prepared, and have the predisposition of burying my face in food, so, I would stick out, but for other reasons.

What greeted us was a large chain-type restaurant, packed, and serving kebabs. Yay. I've only had kebabs 5 quadrillion times having lived in Saudi, fun. I am assured they were good. I assured them I was not inspired. And so it went on. Unfortunately. I had no idea whatsoever what was written on the menu. So. I was basically left helpless. Blast! Apart from a particular dish in the dessert menu. I think the title gives ample indication. I literally did not care for anything else to be ordered other than my Destiny, which is why I begrudgingly let a girl order the food for me. So, to Destiny, and beyond!

~ Starter ~
- Jeera Chicken wings [I think? The Cumin ones]


I started out with a bit of trepidation, fearing, perhaps in blissful ignorance - a bit of a running theme with me - that this restaurant may end up like the other typical "South Asian" eateries I have sampled in the UK, that is to say, about as Asian as Charwoods. I need not have worried. These chicken wings had flavour, plenty! And hold on, they actually had some heat. This was verified by the flames dancing around Huzaifah's face from the spontaneous combustion of his mouth. I cannot specifically remember many of the flavours, despite this dinner taking place only about 14 hours ago, but it was a good and promising start. I am not defending myself, but I only had one wing. And I was in a coma after dessert anyway.

~ Main Course ~
- Naan


What can be said about Naan, it's just bread. And if you just agreed, slap yourself. Naan is never just bread, heathen! And kheer...err, here. It was quite lovely - light, fluffy, incendiary, and difficult to avoid consuming in industrial quantities. You try saying that about Hovis bread.

And that is all we had for mains. Never let girls order food for you.

Ok. I lie.


- Lamb Kofta [I think] Kebabs


The main draw for Huzaifah's sister, apart from waiters, were the kebabs, which she exclaimed to be amazing here, and much to my attempted ignorance and stereotyping of kebabs, I sampled one. Erm. Wow. What? Why have I eaten my hand? A new dimension of "finger-licking". Ok, it's just a kebab but it was quite rightly delicious - crystal clear coriander permeating through the lamb, which was plenty moist, but not greasy, it was quite a special kebab. Nice amount of heat, again verified by the warmth on the side of my cheek from Huzaifah's flaming head. I stand corrected. However, bring me to my dessert. ONWARDS.

- Some Paneer thing


I have always been intrigued by paneer, predominantly for its proliferation in the Western world as of late, leading me to believe it must be about as intensely flavoured as water to be able to be so widely accepted amongst a populus that seems to have a skewed reality on what South Asian food really entails. This was bolstered by Huz's claim that paneer is basically Tofu. JOY! And so it would turn out actually - not having a flavour perse', but an oddly pleasant, gummy texture. The accompanying sauce was mild, and quite nice, mixing the sweetness of the peas with the paneer's 'ness. Get me to my dessert.

- A lamb curry, maybe Karahi, no idea


No idea what curry this was but in was generally satisfying - perhaps a bit mild, but full of large and juicy pieces of lamb. Nothing remarkable in terms of the spice utilised, so it was probably a mild selection to give Huzaifah some respite, his face was starting to char after all.

~ Dessert ~
- Kheer


It was ok. That is all.









Ok, short of dancing on the table with a pot of dessert in declaration of my love for it, I do not think many desserts have been this difficult to contain my excitement for. It. Was. EPINS. For those not in the know, that is an Epic Win. A win of many Epics. So on and so forth. My initial disappointment for receiving a dessert in a coleslaw pot was dashed within the 0.24 seconds it took my taste buds to react to this rice-based Crack. So decadently creamy, to the point it tasted like the mascarpone cream mix my mother makes for Tiramisu', z0mg. It was actually amazing and I think I ate part of the pot.

I literally, could have eaten a billion pots. Ok. I hate to exaggerate. Give or take one or two. To pass this off as "Rice Pudding", is insanity. I was rendered incapacitated, just wondering what the hell had transpired. So much so I ordered another dessert. Spurred by Huz's sister. Damn her.

- Mango Kulfi


No idea why I ordered a second dessert, I guess I needed to clear my palette for fear of my face imploding trying to suck out every last nuance of the Kheer. This was a nice ice-cream though, Huz's smaller sibling obviously, and fortunately, painted an incorrect picture for me. I asked for a modernist Rembrandt, and she gave me an Post-Modernist Abstract. *Sigh*

She also exclaimed Kulfi to be a clotted cream ice-cream, but what I found was a very delicate ice-cream, I do not think it was home-made but it was still delectable. And abundant. And I could taste it for the rest of the evening. Not enough so to keep my mind off the Kheer though......

.........

I apologise. I was staring at the word "Kheer" attempting to telekinetically taste it. It did not work.

~ Drinks ~
- Passion Fruit Juice


I had no idea fresh juice could be drawn from a fruit that has as much fleshy substance as Keira Knightly, but, you learn something new. Quite nice and refreshing and gladly devoid of the AIDS causing sweetness of the commercial "Derived from 100% Concentrated Pure Industrial Glucose" variants.

~~~~

Overall, this was a place defined by the Kheer. I shall talk of nothing other than the Kheer. I AM OF THE KHEER. That's Kheer, not Queer. Though actually for Kheer, anything would be done. Where is my Kheer? It's not KHEER, and that, is a travesty.

Ok. Re-establish some sanity. Hold on, I have to impress no-one, I WANT KHEER.

The rest of the Dinnerial experience [Hah! Ok, I'll stop using that word now] was a welcome surprise as well. Suffice to say, these sorts of restaurants would not be full of locals, were it one of your Charwood-grade Authentic experiences. Even though the Mango Chutney was obviously from the aforementioned jar. It is certainly not an elegant dining outlet but to pretend that a place has to be in order for the food to be of a certain quality is perhaps pretentious, and to me is of no actual concern. And obviously I am right because I just blogged it and therefore my opinion counts and it is important. :(

However, this dinner remains a tainted one. How can I enjoy anything else now without my kheer? Or will I have to be brought back down to reality? I've said it before, I'll say it again, Tie'!
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Sunday 23 January 2011

[Restaurant - Georgian] Short Take: Mimino of Kensington

Location: Kensington, London [UK]

A short take as this was substantially long enough ago to not really register much in recollection - that is to say, I fail at remembering. However, from what I can remember, which as I said isn't much.

Erm.

I forget. Ah! Well, it was - you'll find the words I use don't really diverge much - inoffensive, not really complicated foods; I think I ordered the stuffed cabbage leaves on first appointment as a starter, which were nice, but, ordinary. No idea what I had thereafter. The singer was quite pretty? Does that help?

Probably not. I will have to revisit this review (>_<) Read more!

[Restaurant - Deli] B&K - No Burgers, Certainly a King; B&K Salt Beef Bar of Hatch End


Location - Hatch End, Harrow [UK]

How do I leave an impartial impression of this place. Hmm. I would think, that if people could actually be perverse enough to have a food fetish, then, call me a Salt Beef Sandwich Adulterer. Too much? You've obviously not eaten one. It is. Epic. On, all scales. If you think otherwise, you're wrong, blatently.

I think that works well!



B&K however, was not the first example of this simple sandwich that I had tasted though, rather, the zenith. I had my first salt beef sandwich a couple of years ago at the Rail Bar at Selfridges on Oxford Street, and much to my delight, it was wubs. I was quite suitably drawn to the simplicity of the sandwich, which needs absolutely nothing more than a pickle and mustard. Huzaifah was a long time fan, though he throws in an extra measure of bovine French-kissing with some tongue. No thanks. Anyway, he was quick to exclaim of the existence of a "Jewish" - they know their meats, no racial prejudice here. Back covered. - sandwich bar near his house, in the borough of Proxima Centauri that served the Sandwiches for which no explanation was worthy. He basically stood there drooling in front of me. Ok, he didn't, but it amply demonstrates the state I'm left in when I think back to...


*Wipe up*


The sandwiches. I've driven to his galaxy a couple of times just for the sandwiches. So, unbiased breakdown:

~ Starter ~
- Krablake Soup? Krablach? KRBAJCLLALCH? I think that's how its spelt


Quite a plain soup, but it is hardly the main draw - I love dumplings, and this one is quite nice. I cannot quite recall any notes on the flavour, other than a large grained texture which means absolutely nothing. I doubt "Large grained texture" means anything in terms of flavour. Gravel is large grained? Anyway, it is a simple dumpling, not overly spiced, not overly complicated in flavour, but certainly homely.

~ Main Course ~
- "THE" Epic Sandwiches of Destiny













"THE" being Salt Beef sandwiches on Rye Bread. I cannot throw drool at the screen and hope it explains the event of eating them - and no, I am not overcompensating for a sandwich - so, here goes. They. Make me giggle, like a little girl. I literally, stare at it before eating, then slowly commence. If I'm sounding like a dirty old pervert, I'm feeling like one typing this. It is just a two slices of rye-bread, a metric tonne of perfect Salt Beef, and a good dollop of French Mustard, along with a couple of pickle slices. Somehow however, it is just so much more.


The aniseed quality of the bread, the sweetness of the pickle, and the, well, abundance of earthy beef, just meld into a delicious mush. ARGH. It is epic. There is just the right amount of fat in the meat as well to give that special taste, yet allow you to lie in blissful denial that you're eating healthier. Nothing this good is healthy. Not concerned. In the slightest. It is really my favourite sandwich ever. EVRAR. And ever more. And I do not think I have exaggerated in my explanation. For cereal.

Addendum [07/02/2011] - Had another. Boringly Epic as always. Almost ate the plate. That is all.
Addendum [11/08/2011] - As above.


~ Dessert ~
- Some Spaghetti Thing with Raisins and a funny name




Meh, was not a fan of this - I was hoping, wheat based sweet dessert pudding, full of wins! Except, I hate raisins, and as I rediscovered, I hate pineapple juice. These were in abundance supply in this dessert. And it was not that sweet. Hmph.

- Home-made Apple Strudel [07/02/2011]











What is the deal with these guys? Really cannot stand their fitting form in creating absolutely more-ish/crack-influenced food . It's making me fat :(. Good thing they are about 60mi away then or I'd be heading towards a whole load of John Candy-ish cliche's.

On this visit, I forfeited the Soup whose name contains no vowels, in order to fully enjoy a dessert, and as the home-made options are limited to two, and I was not a fan of the previous, natural selection fell to the aforementioned. My stomach whimpered when I saw the brick of pastry being served out for me and Huzaifah, after having just consumed a herd's worth of Salt Beef. Oh well, it's a hard life. And on first bite, I was alerted. Confused. Bewildered. Despondent. Elated. Scared. Random adjectives that have no relation to anything etc ^_^

But seriously, I was slightly caught off guard as the strudel was not as sweet as I had envisioned it to be, and it was also loaded with raisins. Hmph. However, that crystal clear defining moment came with the pairing of the vanilla ice-cream scoop with the strudel. There has actually never been a better pairing in this universe, not with Adam and Eve, Hippies and Hemp, nor Idiot Scientologists and their Suitable Leader. At once the perfect sweetness was achieved, with a satisfying creaminess from the ice-cream that was punched through by the Cinnamon in the strudel. Of particular mention is just how well the sweetness matched, for it was not sickly sweet, but it was plenty creamy - they obviously selected their ice-cream well. So well, that I similarly struggled to not add some ceramics in my diet that evening. It was a struggle to allow time to breathe when consuming this as well.

The apples were a bit hard, but that essentially means nothing to me, and at least allowed some respite from the gorging. A lovely, well balanced dessert. I know, I complimented a dessert, so unlike me right? Yeah, stfu.

I spent the next 15 minutes just, in a pleasure-lull, wondering whether to have another, then picturing myself with John Candy's face..


- Lokshen Pudding with Vanilla Ice-Cream, i.e. "Some Spaghetti Thing with Raisins and a funny name" [11/08/2011]













Impatient for my usual company for B&K, I went alone recently to cap off a disgustingly indulgent day [one of my recently], and to cap it off, after the ubiquitous Salt Beef Sandwich of destiny, it was time for dessert. My latest choice was the strudel as seen above, and before that the Pasta Pie. There was also vanilla cheesecake. And I was quite torn - admittedly I was not quite swayed by the Lokshen the last time round, but that was predominately for the fact that it was drowned in pineapple juice, the Strudel was had but 6 months ago, and I still have the cheesecake I made at home. So it was decided I should have the Lokshen, with some vanilla ice-cream this time.

It was fortunate I only ate half of the sandwich - the size of the standard scoop size of ice-cream should create some scale, they certainly are generous at B&K, though, having driven 50mi to get there, it's all appreciated. And, an almost complete change of face. Without the overpowering aroma of Del Monte suffused/infused/poisoned into the Lokshen, the delicate sweetness, supplemented by the just right temperature was very comforting. The rich, but not overtly sweet vanilla ice-cream just added to it, helping to break up the brick of pasta. It was dense, but not incredibly so, and not rich to the point of paying for itself after having consumed it. Quite lovely, and despite essentially eclipsing me in size, I proved valiant in its defeat. Nom. 


~~~~

Overall, well, what else needs to be said? Combined with the quasi-illegal sandwich, very friendly staff, very decent pricing, that sandwich...*drool*


Impartial? As they say in Rome, "Tie'!", replete with unsubtle gesticulation. Kkthx.






B&K Salt Beef Bar on Urbanspoon
[I've gone all Mainstream now and feel dirty. I need a sandwich for consolation]


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[Restaurant - French] Villandrybreeze; Villandry Kitchen of Chiswick

Location - Chiswick, London [UK]

In what would reveal itself to be a slight twist of fate -







- yesterday we happened across the aforementioned Villandry Kitchen in Chiswick. Originally we were due to dine at Chakalaka just down the road, sorely tempted by the thought of eating slabs of obscure meat and diverse sounding desserts. Though, it was not to be as apparently, literally the day before, the restaurant was seized for offending PETA with their Zebra-themed decor or something or other. So, no issue, there'd be plenty of choice available to us in this chic little town. Though, as we found out, only if you want the stereotypical French Bistrot type restaurant, running into no less than 4 or 5 such establishments.


Further temptation was had when La Trompette turned out to be fully booked, leaving us right in front of the divine Oriental Brasserie. NEIN! We quipped, lets try something new, so onto Villandry. The name struck me as familiar for some reason, I could not quite pin down why though, so, meh, we ventured forth as it sounded moderately more interesting than Cafe' Rouge, Zizzi's et al. Relatively bustling and rustic-ish atmosphere, but plainly a chain. Menu more or less matched what all the other Bistrot restaurants were serving, so we basically opted for the Day's specials. I ate a vegetarian dish [ignoring the starter]. I was that distraught by my denial of sinking teeth into some endangered species at the originally planned restaurant. The overall experience wasn't terrible, perhaps not terribly "French" perse' [ooh rather!], service was occasionally absent, and dessert dessappointed [HAH!], but otherwise, not a bad experience. Let me explain.

~ Starter ~
- Wild Boar Terrine


I should really stop ordering terrine's as I always seem to get underwhelmed by them - I'm not quite sure what I expect out of them in terms of flavour, but I always seem to want more. Not to say that the terrine was infact bad, but, is it literally just a big slice of cold mottled minced meat? The "spiced" orange confit [or reduced orange slice and juice] worked well, together with the sourdough toast, but, I don't know what to expect. It is quite nice, but it is essentially just a pate' of meat, that doesn't elicit anything special, but it is very comforting food regardless. Especially when it is served as a CD Case sized slab.

~ Main Course ~
- Pumpkin & Chestnut Fricassee


Spurred by the aforementioned meat-deprived depression, I opted for - heavens - a vegetarian dish, though, face palms at dawn when a pizza sized pie came forth. I was not the only one, Huzaifah seemed to have been brought a baked dolphin instead of a sea bass. Ah. Ah well, puff pastry, chestnut, pumpkin and courgette stuffing, ready to plunge my face into said concoction, all the while not trying to alert the fellow eaters with my non-conformist eating method.

And then, the anti-climax, probably for the better - the fricassee was not stuffed to within bursting capacity. Shame, as despite not too much sweetness permeating through the chestnut and pumpkin, it was a nice dish. The cream sauce was light, the pastry was obviously light - since when have you seen a heavy Poof, err, puff - I think you can see where this is heading. The more I ate, the higher the plate floated, so I had to weigh it down with some lead shot, but it was otherwise pleasant. I did not finish it however as I wanted to seriously pig out on some notoriously elaborate French dessert...

~ Dessert ~
- Plum Tarte with Creme Fraiche


On receiving the dessert though, my notions of being Porky Pig were dashed, as the portion was underwhelming. MEH! Regardless, it wasn't bad - I was not terribly impressed with the pastry itself, not that I can tell the difference by taste, but it didn't seem home-made, maybe it was, I don't know, but that's the impression I got. The plum punched through the sour creme fraiche quite nicely, but it was all over too soon and I needed more. MOAR.

~ Drinks ~
- Chateau de Cerons Dessert Wine


A refreshing but light-hearted dessert wine, I think I remember some apple notes in the bouquet, and pretending to know what that meant, with a crisp and fresh taste. Very light but it combined well with the dessert. Err, yeah.

~~~~

So. Mostly delightful food, decent portions on the most part, some lacking service [who cares] and that all draws up to a drybreeze experience, a breath of fresh air. Quite nice. Why was it a twist of fate? A pending journey to Bicester Village drew up just two restaurants [well 3 now] available, one of which is Villandry! Hah. Check one off the list. I live a dangerously uneventful life.

o_o
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